Loveline with Grand Ayatolla Sistani
Everything you always wanted to know about sex, but were afraid of being stoned to death.
Learn, from Iraq's leading cleric, about...
hand holding,
§ Question : Are shaking of hands with girls allowed?oral sex,
§ Answer : It is not permissible.
anal sex,§ Question : Is oral sex by husband or wife allowed?
§ Answer : It is permissible provided no liquid out swallowed.§ Question : I want to know the ruling on oral sex?
§ Answer : It is obligatory precaution not permissible; it's very disgust if she agrees.
§ Question : What is the ruling on anal sex? Is a Moslem allowed to have anal sex?
§ Answer : Based on the widely held opinion of Shiite scholars this act (anal sex) is strongly Akrooh (undesirable, what is not Haram to do, but it is better to avoid). There is no objection to the couple getting pleasure from the entire body of one another. But it should be taken into consideration that some actions are beneath human dignity.
§ Question : I want to ask about talking to ones fiancee on telephone, is it permissible or not?
§ Answer : If talking is free of provocative words and if there is no fear of falling in sin, there is no objection.
§ Question : When I am unable to do Muta’h (temporary marriage), am I allowed to masturbate?
§ Answer : Masturbation is not permissible under any circumstances.
§ Question : If my wife wants me to masturbate in front of her, is it then allowed? § Answer : You are not allowed to excite yourself with your own hands, but you can do it your wife.
How about those workplace romances?§ Question : What is an orgy?
§ Answer : It's forbidden.
Ah, the old electricity bill problem. That shit is Akrooh.§ Question : Whether men and woman are allowed to work together in the same organization?
§ Answer : This is not permissible. He who steals government property will be indebted for the electricity bill. However, if the person is compelled to do, he may refer to the next “most knowledgeable” Mujtahed.
HAT TIP - Sullivan, who linked to the site for more cerebral reasons.
posted by Abe at 2/11/2006 03:00:00 PM
4 Comments:
that's some funny ass shit. i went to his website and read more. Chess is forbidden and it is debauchery. CHESS!?
ram
p.s. it is good to see Rudy Law back and 2GL is looking good recently. JP on the other hand, is dying and cavalry charge is dead.
On the contrary, ram, JP is not dying. The other night, I wrote a great riposte to add to the "warrantless wiretap" debate. Then, shortly before I hit publish, it friggin' disappeared! Well, I was heartsick. So, I've been silently licking my cyberwounds -- which, apparently, isn't allowed under Iraqi Islamic interpretation. So, I guess I better jump back into the fray.
piano:
sorry for the confusion, the JP i was referring to was my blog "judgment proof." i know you are out there somewhere in the hills of MT perfecting your manifesto which you e-release on this blog sometime soon!
signed, ram
now ram, that was pretty damn funny. The death of JP and CC was predictable, conservatives only have so much rhetoric and so many stump speeches. Even you and TOD got bored of typing out the same talking points.
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