The Five Stages of Grief

So, here's the first post since the re-election of President Bush. I thought it would be best to wait a week so I could come to terms with the country's loss.

1) DENIAL
When Kerry made the phone call, I refused to believe that was the end. Surely some suprise would come out of Ohio, some hidden warehouse full of Peace Corps absentee ballots or something. I kept flashing back to the debates and thinking about how we had this election all wrapped up... all wrapped up...

2) ANGER
Then for a few days I was just pissed. I was pissed at Sunshine and Buckeyes. I figured the early exit polls showing a Kerry lead meant that the electronic voting machines were rigged (which was further fueled by the Ohio machine that registered 4,000 false votes for Bush). I was pissed at the smug look on Bush's face. I was pissed at my fellow Democrats for being so pissed at each other. Mostly, I was pissed at the President for... well, I've been writing about the reasons for half a year.

3) BARGAINING
At the end of last week I just felt like I should have done more. It was like that last scene in Schindler's List where he was trying to give his watch to just make things better. Please, please, I'll do anything. Just not Bush again.

4) DEPRESSION
Over the weekend, I did check out the Canadian immigration site. You know, if you've got an advanced degree and you're between 25 and 49, it's not so hard. They've got this "Skilled Worker" designation, see.

Actually, quite seriously, this election made me sad. I've grown up with a deep faith in the wisdom of America and of democracy. With liberty and justice for all -- how many times have I said that? And I've always believed it. Now, for the first time in my life I feel like my country has been manipulated, through distortions, fear, and bigotry, into acting contrary to its self interest and the interest of the world. It's effing depressing. Truly.

5) ACCEPTANCE
But, life goes on. Barack Obama was elected to the Senate, as everyone anticipated, and I expect great things. Back in my home state, they elected a Democratic governor for the first time in 16 years (check that out, Racicot, you sell out). And Kerry was as statesmanlike in defeat as he was when he was whipping Bush's ass in the debates. I'm damn proud to have supported him... a true and thoughtful patriot who has dedicated his entire life to public service.

And now we have, once again, President Bush. Here's hoping he can find a way to slow down the killing in Iraq. Here's hoping he'll abandon his push for an anti-gay constitutional amendment. Here's hoping he'll slow the unprecendented government spending. Here's hoping he'll appoint moderate Justices to the Supreme Court.

Here's hoping . . .