Cuticle Carl

Josh is all over the hot scoop that Fox News is blatantly partisan. But didn't we all know this by now? It's pretty well accepted. You don't really see thoughtful conservatives defending Fox News as a balanced, neutral source of news. They recognize that the network is an extension of their party's propaganda machine. Even the Fox slogan "Fair and Balanced" seems to come at you with a little wink from the network. This is Republican media. There is no secret about it.

That's why it's so funny when the network props ultra-serious Brit Hume up there to defend findings that Fox News' coverage of the Kerry campaign has been ridiculously skewed. You can almost picture Hume's furrowed brow when he says:

"Our day-in, day-out coverage by Carl Cameron has been extremely fair to Kerry, and the Kerry campaign has recognized this," he says.
"We did a lot on the Swift Boat Veterans. We thought it was a totally legitimate story and found it an appalling lapse by many of our competitive news organizations that were treating that story like it was cancerous." But even there, Hume says, "we were abundantly fair to John Kerry's side."

Yes, this is the same Carl Cameron who published the story with fake quotes from Kerry. Come on, Brit. Just wink, smile, and say "no comment".

So, since we all already knew that Fox News is a joke, what's the real story here? The scoop is that they're not even funny. I mean, if you're going to make up fake quotes from Kerry, is this really the best you can come up with, Carl?

"Women should like me! I do manicures."
"Didn't my nails and cuticles look great?"
"I'm metrosexual --- he's a cowboy."

Show us some wit, bro. Give us something approximating cleverness. You're better than this. If you're going to run with the manicure bit (which is a pretty weak choice of material to start with), at least have Kerry droning on with a long-winded description of his nails or something. Have him attacking Bush's choice of manicurist. Maybe the "global test" his fingernails must pass. Something, man!