Gosh, that's embarrassing...

Dildo causes panic at airport, the Norwegian press reports.

What a great time for a favorite Fight Club quote, esp. since it's Friday, (Jack stopped at airport security):

Jack: Was it ticking?

Airport Security Officer: Actually throwers don't worry about ticking, 'cause modern bombs don't tick.

Jack: I'm sorry, throwers?

Airport Security Officer: Baggage handlers. But, when a suitcase vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police.

Jack: My suitcase was vibrating?

Airport Security Officer: Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but . . . every once in a while . . . it's a dildo. Of course, it's company policy never to imply ownership. In the even of a dildo, we have to use the indefinite article "a" dildo, never "your" dildo.

Jack: I don't own...

Thank Gloria Estefan that it's Friday, everyone, and a holiday weekend to boot. Drive safely and soberly and whatever you do, don't ever be responsible for something so atrocious as this, the ultimate "Don't Drink and Drive" commercial.