Easing the Jones

Sometimes I get this weird need for right-wing nuttery. I want to see someone so far off the wacko chart that I get embarrassed for them. Strange, isn't it?

When I get the craving, sometimes I'm just not satisfied with the self important smarm of Bill O'Reilly. Even the wild-eyed burned-out lunacy of Ann Coulter sometimes just doesn't cut the mustard for me. Yes, sometimes I need it all crammed into one greasy little package of loveable smugness.

So, every once in a while I'll drop into Fox News' website and see what Hannity's been up to. (In a similar vein, sometimes when channel surfing at home I'll stop on the public access channel if I see someone in a dim studio wearing an Uncle Sam hat and a Superman costume waving a Bible.) The Han-man usually does the trick.

I have the need this morning. Watch with me as our hero slithers around Lanny Davis, former special counsel to President Clinton

And Lanny, Lanny, Lanny, how are you? You just left Bill Clinton, didn't you?

DAVIS: I just left a big audience where he was speaking on the book party launching this great book.

HANNITY: He loves this. It's all about me; it's all about me. He loves this. This is great for him.

DAVIS: An autobiography is, by definition.

HANNITY: "My Life," me, me, I, I, I.

All right. Let's forget about what the right-wing conspiracy thinks. Let's go to "The New York Times," your beloved "New York Times" that reviewed Mr. Clinton's book.

Let's put up on the screen some of what it said.

[ed.- blah blah we've all seen it]

DAVIS: Well, look, this same reviewer used almost the same words about Hillary Rodham Clinton's book, and she sold a million copies. This reviewer obviously has a jaundiced view of the Clintons and writes almost similar reviews. You could have Scotch taped and pasted.

The fact is Bill Clinton...

HANNITY: But wait, wait. Why are you discrediting him? You go right to your same old strategy of if they don't say anything nice about the Clintons, trash them.

DAVIS: Because if you read the review, you would compared to what she wrote about Hillary Clinton, you would say this is a pretty biased...

HANNITY: OK, so that's -- why are you trashing the person? Why can't you just say, "OK, that's just one person's view"? Why do you have to go after them?

DAVIS: It is -- It is certainly one person's view. But your viewers who just heard you read those nasty quotes should know that if you read the Hillary Rodham Clinton review...

HANNITY: You are crazed, Lanny.

DAVIS: ...this reviewer wrote, you would find almost the same words used.

The fact is she's entitled to her opinion, but she misstated facts and you're not entitled to misstate facts. She said in her reviewer that Bill Clinton lied about real estate and she, in fact, is wrong about Whitewater...

HANNITY: I don't care. I really don't care about the Clintons.

DAVIS: You quoted it.

AAAAAhhhhhh. I feel better. Don't you?