U.S v. Iraq in Extra Innings

Mr. Bush thinks that immersing himself in voluminous, mostly liberal-leaning news coverage might cloud his thinking and even hinder his efforts to remain an optimistic leader.

"I like to have a clear outlook," he said. "It can be a frustrating experience to pay attention to somebody's false opinion or somebody's characterization, which simply isn't true."

uhh...

This is an actual excerpt from Misunderstimated, Billy Sammon's latest love letter to President Bush.

See, Bill wants us to praise Bush's clarity of vision and optimism, but his silly man-crush has caused him to examine Bush with the same tunnel vision that Bush apparently prefers to look at the world. What else could explain this absurd attempt to convince America that critical thinking is actually a bad thing? Our President is so convinced his instincts are right that he doesn't even want to hear opposing viewpoints! Now that's simple leadership in complicated times, or whatever.

We can't stand for this willful ignorance. I hereby propose a collective geurilla effort to "cloud Bush's thinking." We need to sneak little tidbits of reason into places where we know Bush will run across them. Protest with signs in areas where he will be travelling? No, they've already thought of that. Write newspaper articles? Ha. There must be something he reads.

Wait a minute... a chink in the armor:

"He does not dwell on the newspaper, but he reads the sports page every day," Mr. Card said with a chuckle.

The sports page! If we could somehow hide little nuggets of reason, little morsels of sanity, brief depictions of the plight of our nation in there, then maybe, just maybe, we can make Bush's thinking so cloudy that he actually does something reasonable. We're not going to get much help from the athletes themselves. (snip: Charles Barkley wondered aloud to his grandmother once about why their family always supported Democrats. "Because Republicans are only for rich people," Barkley recounted her answering. Sir Charles thought about the explanation for a second, then shot back: "I'm rich!" What pro athletes aren't?)

It looks like our hope lies in one man.
I feel the fear coming on.

Hat Tip: TPM