Me? Oh, I'm a Lycanthropist.

A Christian website reviews Van Helsing:

A couple issues of probable concern to the Christian parents in addition to the rampant vampirism, the lycanthropy (werewolf-opy) and creating life (Frankenstein) from death (akin to unholy resurrection) include the dedication of an entire family to the fight against evil, promising to not enter into Heaven until they succeed in their quest. This is akin to selling one's soul to Satan. Another issue of probable concern to the Christian parents is the use of "the left hand of God" to describe Gabriel Van Helsing. I don't remember Van Helsing's original first name name but it was not Gabriel. We know who sits and the right hand of God and to equate a mortal man to the left Hand of God is, well, dark.

Uh, yeah. It's supposed to be dark, bro. And this is one of the more favorable reviews of the movie out there.

HAT TIP: reader S. Bhuta