Disgruntled associate bids farewell to firm

I received the following forwarded e-mail message this morning. I'm not sure as to its authenticity, but the long list of accomplices perpetuating it through cyberspace vouch that the dude is/was at Paul Hastings. Whatever the case, it's still amusing.

As many of you are aware, today is my last day at the firm. It is time for me to move on and I want you to know that I have accepted a position as "Trophy Husband". This decision was quite easy and took little consideration. However, I am confident this new role represents a welcome change in my life and a step up from my current situation.

While I have a high degree of personal respect for PHJW as a law firm, and I have made wonderful friendships during my time here, I am no longer comfortable working for a group largely populated by gossips, backstabbers and Napoleonic personalities. In fact, I dare say that I would rather be dressed up like a piñata and beaten than remain with this group any longer.

I wish you continued success in your goals to turn vibrant, productive, dedicated associates into an aimless, shambling group of dry, lifeless husks.

May the smoke from any bridges I burn today be seen far and wide.

Respectfully submitted,

>[Some Dude]

ps. Achilles absent, was Achilles still. (Homer)