Burbed Out

One word in Rudy's post below sent a needle into my spine: "Burberry".
This is the 21st Century's mark of the beast.

The women (and metrosexual men) in Chicago are covered in this stuff. They put it everywhere.

Now, don't get me wrong. If you were wearing Burberry ten years ago because you liked the gentile Olde Engish flair and were willing to spend three hundred dollars on a scarf, I don't fault you. Well, I guess I still do. Three hundred clams? But now, it's a bizarre status symbol, and is beyond cliche'. Look, I'm so rich I can put Burberry in places where I know it will get covered in urine and sticky fruit juice.

I was going to just get the chair upholstered with laminated hundred dollar bills, but this was more expensive:

If the options are
(1) skate, or
(2) die..
I will skate, damn you.
But I shall do it on my own terms!

As with all gangs, it's best to indoctrinate into The Burb Marauders young.

Seriously.
No, seriously.
Why would you do this?
Why?