The bane known as Atkins

I hope I'm not the only one sick of the "low carb" diet craze. Its presence plagues the food industry with every company trying in vain to leap on the bandwagon. From restaurants with their low-carb menus, to the proliferation of low-carb cookbooks and grating informercials, to the ridiculous products like low-carb cookies, beer, and even wine! Enough already. We all know what's good to eat: grilled fish, chicken, green vegetables are good; deep fried Snickers bars, Double Whoppers with Cheese, a bucket-o-lard are bad.

I can't look at a menu at a restaurant without seeing it or even a magazine, newspaper, or Web site for that matter. Quit following me. I never did anything to you.

Well, apparently for every diet-craze action there's an equal and opposite reaction. Carbohydrate dominated companies, such as Krispy Kreme, are now reporting losses in corporate profits that they directly attribute to the Atkins phenomenon and some shareholders are actually suing because of it.

Frankly, I'm glad Atkins is receiving the blame for something. It wasn't enough that Atkins's founder died of a heart attack. Bacon every morning and 22oz T-bone steaks for snacks will tend to do that to you. Nevertheless, diet obsessed people still swear by it.

I actually hope Atkins continues to be blamed for all our ills: Abu Ghraib, road rage, drive-by shootings, massive layoffs in the tech industry, gaping holes in the ozone, the 17yr cicadas, Rush Limbaugh. You name it. Maybe only then can I read a magazine, eat a white chip macadamia nut cookie, sip some wine, or enjoy the simple pleasure of sitting on my porch drinking a case of beer in peace and quiet.